It’s February and frankly, I’ve spent more time lately planning my family vacation in July than my cycling season. I’ve had an awakening, so to speak, during my winter hibernation. My grandmother died on my youngest son’s birthday in January…and with that event, came a great deal of pondering, soul searching and focus on what really matters on this earth.
I have a full life. I’m blessed with a husband that I adore, that knows me, that shares my passion for all things athletic, hand-crafted, musical and joins me in my disdain for football, hypocrites, laziness, entitlement, pandering, large SUV’s, dishonest business dealings, etc. I have 5 children each pulling at me for their own time, their own events, their own dreams. Of my five children, I have good athletes, a few good students, at least one artistic child, a dancer, a musician, several that love the water and at least two that I think would be excellent cyclists.
I’m too busy with life to ever be an excellent cyclist. Yeah, I said it. I keep meeting people that seem very one dimensional….perhaps fast, but one dimensional. For starters, I have a job…during the day time, when the sun is out and the roads are begging to be ridden. My day is divided into 6 minute segments, of which, I day in and day out must “bill”. If you talk to me on the phone for 3 minutes, I’m charging you for 6. If I type a letter for 7 minutes, I’m charging you for 12 and on and on and freaking on it goes. Whilst doing this, I mentally plan my menus for the week, think about training, budget, reconcile my bank account, think about my training, field phone calls from kids who want everything from an afternoon snack to a physical for their track team, think about training, calculate when I need to plant the spring grass, pay the water bill, and spend countless other minutes wondering which kid is where, doing what.
AHHHHHH…. All this “thinking about training” makes me tired and actually makes me think I devote too much of my energy, physical and mental often to training. SO – this year, Rob and I agree, we ride for “us”. We ride when we want, where we want and as fast as we want or in my case as slow as we want, much to the chagrin of animated Christmas dinner party guests that get dropped on the mountains. Yes, I actually spent a Christmas party being reprimanded for my husband’s transgressions of “attacking” on a hill and not staying with the group. I clearly remember thinking, really???? REALLY? In light of economic hardship, poverty, starvation, the lack of world peace, countless other topics of interest, and even the other people at the table that would love to get a word in edge wise, we are going to waste two hours of a festive evening, with a wonderful meal, at the home of our lovely, gracious hostess, hearing that Rob should not attack on hills??? I’m just a bit disenchanted with petty, one dimensional thought processes.
SO – this year, we intend to have fun. If we want to race, we will. If we want to ride, alone, we will. If we want to do some triathlons, we will. If Rob wants to kill it on the first ride he can finally take in the week after all the daily, family duties are done…he probably will. Hopefully, we’ll add in to this mix more time with our baby cyclists, swimmers, and runners. Nothing would thrill me more than to see them excel at a young age in sports that I still enjoy.
Fortunately, if and when we race, we race for a team that is multi-faceted comprised of people with lives and loves and children and hobbies and jobs…whose focus is always fun oriented.
Overall, this year, I’m desperately seeking balance. Balance in activities that I enjoy, with people that I enjoy and if that brings improvement in my legs – I’ll take it…and if not, I’ll at least have a few drinks and many laughs along the way.