Friday, March 27, 2009

Group rides...

I was forewarned by my duly betrothed that every “slack-jawed, MF” would want to give me advice, help and “training tips” whilst riding in groups. Apparently, the mere fact that I’m a girl, with girlie parts and pigtails and on a bicycle to boot makes me fair game for every man learning to ride a bike that wants to beat his fists on his chest and claim me as his “Jane” (who ever cared about an engagement ring anyway!). I “pish-poshed” this as he warned me….and I, was wrong.

This past Tuesday at Donaldson was only my 3rd group ride – ever and the biggest by far. My experience compelled me to post some notes for beginners:

1. Yes, every slack-jawed mother effer WILL want to give you “advice” – even if he can’t keep up with you, even if you ride better, faster and look more “pro”.

2. It won’t be enough that you are traveling in the middle of the pack and can’t help but notice EVERY rider’s hand signals to turn left “he” will say to you loudly, “we’re going to turn left up here!!”.

3. “He” will give you play by play of your OWN ride… “we’re going up a big hill” (NO SHIT), “we’re going to go back down a big hill” (really???? You mean we won’t just go up and up and up forever????)

4. When all “tips” fail to impress you…. The feeble attempts at humor will come next…
“That’s a really tall bike you are riding!” (It’s a wee bitty 43 cm)

Oh, the drudgery of being a “girl”…. and people wonder why we girls often take refuge in “bitchdom”.


  1. Hell Cat! You live in Greenville. I wonder if you know my sis Valerie the banker-lady who rides regularly with a large group? I think she is probably also the recipient of the attentions of every "slack-jawed MF". She rides a Specialized racing bike of some kind - skinny wheels scare me but it's great to see read a blog from somewhere so familiar. Downtown Greenville really is the best. I look forward to spending more time on your blog.

  2. I'm not sure if I know her or not! My fiance' knows many more people than I do, since he has been riding much longer than I have. I did meet a girl last week that works for a bank...not sure if it is her or not?! Funny about the skinny wheels... it definitely was something to I love them! Thanks for the comments and reading... Greenville is a great place to live and I'll do my best to keep the blog interesting! Happy Monday!

  3. Well, HC, G'Ville is big enough that you won't know every biking banker chick but if she was really beautiful with long, dark hair, that could have been her. It would blow her mind if she found out someone she rides with is following my blog - I don't think she has seen it yet.

  4. Yes... lol it's a small, small world... I don't think I've seen her...I'll keep a look out... is she a "fast" girl... we may not ride in the same group since I'm pretty much a "beginner".